A Rant About Dense Visitors

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MissK
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Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:46 pm
Location: Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A.

A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by MissK »

I don't get a great many visitors. I'm not home when other people usually are free, and I like to get out to see folks when I can. However, recently I've had over both my brother and my "might as well be a brother", who came with his wife. I'm not trying to be sexist, but these MEN keep standing in front of my cages, looking straight at the birds, loudly soliciting them to talk.

Could you guess the birds freak out? Could you guess these men CONTINUE to pester the birds? They won't take gentle guidance. Tonight I had to tell my friend "Go in the next room. Now. GO!" and "Stay out of that room! Look from the doorway!"

Could you further guess my female guest understood right away what the problem was, before I even opened my mouth? It was the first time any of them had seen Sinbad. He's been doing so well; I was afraid they'd mess him up! Remember last year my brother upset Rocky so much he plucked some feathers!

I handled my situation, and I kept these guys moving, but it was such an effort. I about had to be rude to my family! I understand the birds are attractive. I understand they're a novelty. I well understand the desire for the bird to interact. I just don't understand why some guests seem not to understand our common language in simplest terms! I had a different guy over today as well, and we carried big, scary stuff past the cages and none of the birds were upset in the least. HE just gave them a glance and kept going. HE had the sense to turn slightly away when he did look at them. HE didn't even need to be told. Why can't everybody do that, at least once I give them the hint?

GRUMBLE!! GRUMBLE!! GRUMBLE!! GRUMBLE!! GRUMBLE!!!!!!!!
Grrrrr.
Thank you for indulging my rant.
-MissK
sanjays mummi
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Location: Bedfordshire UK

Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by sanjays mummi »

I know exactly what you mean, one of my late husbands friends is a 6ft black guy, and he would Loom over Sanjay making daft coochie coo noises, Sanjay would freak out so much so he would be clinging to the bars panting. Fortunately, that guy stopped visiting after the funeral. Then there are Jack and Isabel, the grandchildren who, being children make very sudden movements close to the cage and worry Sanjay silly, we have to keep telling them not to stand so close and not to keep fidgeting and faffing about. Sanjay is ok with quiet visitors who keep a respectful distance.
InTheAir
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Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by InTheAir »

I usually make sure the birds aren't caged if we are expecting visitors, that way the birds can zoom off to the other end of the house if they don't like them. It did backfire recently when Nila decided he would prefer to sit on the electricians shoulder while the guy fixed the oven. The poor guy was trying not to disturb Nila by moving really carefully, which made it very hard for him to do his job :mrgreen: I did suggest that they guy just moved normally and Nila would balance fine, but it didn't help. Maybe I shouldn't have pointed out that Nila never falls off shoulders because he holds onto your ear if he starts slipping... :lol:
sanjays mummi
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Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by sanjays mummi »

Oh! That made me howl with laughter!
MissK
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Location: Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A.

Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by MissK »

It's a great visual!

And "daft coochie coo noises" - what a great voice you have for that image. My birds, too, I think would have been fine if the guy had simply taken a seat in the doorway.

My "brother from an other mother" didn't intend to be a jerk - it's just natural for him. He's improved a great deal since he became a father a few years ago, but it didn't help him as far as animals are concerned. I'm pleased he did want to hold a bird, also that he accepted my assurance that the bird would not comply. I'm pleased that he wanted to interact. Actually, I'm thrilled that he was able to pass a nut to Rocky, since it was a positive for both.

I'm really bummed, though, that I don't see a future where he reaches a decent rapport with animals not in his family. He had a dog growing up (who I didn't really know), but he still has an authoritarian approach towards mine. His wife has never had a pet, but she has had experience being treated like an object (not by him!). I can't imagine what my brother's excuse is. I can't understand how he can be so different despite our fundamentally identical childhoods.

Underlying my extreme frustration with my dense houseguests is a profound sadness. I feel like I could train these guys if we were all living here together and I had all the time in the world. I believe they could be helped to change their perspective. It's not my responsibility to fix them, though I want to at least help. Like other damaged animals, I believe they would heal themselves given time and a safe space, with a little guidance. Time will tell how that child develops.
-MissK
InTheAir
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Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by InTheAir »

Do you have a bird that interacts with wellibehaved visitors? Nila is brilliant at training people to behave appropriately. If they listen to us and ignore the birds, Nila quickly flies over and sits on their shoulder to reinforce their behaviour. If they ignore us and try to approach him, he does a panic scream and files away. Not only do their ears get punished, but they don't get to interact with either of the birds, because Nila is chief in charge of deciding if a new human is worth knowing or not.
MissK
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Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by MissK »

Well, yes and no.

Rocky will accept treats until he's stuffed, so long as he is in the cage and the stranger is well-behaved and Sinbad is quiet. Understandably, when Sinbad panics it puts Rocky on edge, and then he is quite reserved. Out of the cage he generally needs a whole almond to interact with a well-behaved stranger, and you can imagine it's a pretty quick interaction. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to hold a grudge unless they try to touch him. :lol: He might well do a call and answer whistle session with someone who was reasonable sensitive. Unfortunately, for the not well-behaved stranger, Rocky has no inclination.

I agree the birds provide excellent feedback. It was Sinbad's loud feedback that caused my guys to label him "mean" and Rocky "nice". If I were to remove Sinbad from the room, my guests would have a much better chance at that learning interaction. However, to remove Sinbad I would have to cross his comfort line myself, and I won't do that. If I remove Rocky to a different room, he's going to focus on the disruption to his lifestyle instead.

He did allow a transfer from my arm to a female friend's arm, briefly, after she had spent the whole day here. She's one of my more sensible friends, when it comes to animals, and she looks a lot like me with regards to body type and hair. Naturally, she doesn't need any training. I think Rocky is less comfortable with men because they are physically so different from me and he doesn't get that much exposure to them.

A patient and well-behaved visitor could probably get one of the Linnies or Budgies to come for spray millet, but Riff Raff is the only one who would consider going on their hand. Remendado will rest passively in the gently closed hand, but he is so delicate I would never use him to train a human. I would argue a patient and well-behaved visitor doesn't need training either.
-MissK
AJPeter
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Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by AJPeter »

Remember last year my brother upset Rocky so much he plucked some feathers!

That would be worth seeing.

Like Claire l leave Billie out she glares at visitors, they do not dare get to close. Gordon did and Billie flew to his shoulder and bit him on the neck. I told Gordon's wife it was a love bite.
MissK
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Re: A Rant About Dense Visitors

Post by MissK »

It was not worth seeing. It was horrifying. Let's imagine Billie sitting on her perch with a big pile of her feathers on the floor below, completely without warning. Imagine not knowing if she would pull another pile tomorrow, or later today, or every day for the rest of time. Remember how little we know about what makes birds pluck and how less we know of how to stop them. You wouldn't want to see it. You would pay not to see it. Think about that for a while.
-MissK
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