Toki
Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:41 am
I didn't know what else to do, but since I see a lot of people suggesting that posting might help alleviate grief I thought I'd give it a try.
Toki passed three months ago, and I am not coping very well. Just a warning that what happened is terrible so please dont read on if you think it might make you uncomfortable. Please forgive how messy this post is I'm just very upset.
Toki was my baby, I have never ever felt so heartbroken in my life. I spent nearly every minute of every day with him, I brought him across the country with me, and I know how much he loved me by how all he ever wanted was to snuggle up on my shoulder, and how he always wanted to sleep cuddled up to my face at night, and would make it so difficult to get his fat little legs to step up because he was so stubborn when he wanted to stay with me. I never knew you could love something with all your heart until I got Toki!
The night after I moved into my new house, I put him in his big cage outside to get some fresh air while I unpacked my room to bring him in. I realised his cage was way too big to bring upstairs every night so I decided to go out and buy him a special cage to sleep in at night.
He was so happy that day, I kept checking on him, or just watching him singing and chatting so happily (he was just starting to talk, and very impressed with himself), and I thought I'd quickly run out, grab the cage and bring him inside in no time.
But I'd completely forgotten in all the chaos of moving that he'd learnt how to unlock his balcony door two days before, and when i came home witht he cage not 15 minutes later he was gone, I looked everywhere and eventually found him on the road, he'd managed to clear the high concrete fence, walked right onto the road and he'd been hit by a car and i just cant sleep at night for thinking about it. I'm so so so angry at myself and I'm so so SO sad for him. I've never felt so bad in my life and three months later I still feel absolutely devastated. I miss him so much and I feel like I let him down in the worst way.
Now that he's gone i feel so alone, he took up all of my time, if I was at home, Toki was on my shoulder, if I fell asleep i would wake up with Toki tangled up asleep in my hair. He was like a baby, and he's just suddenly gone and it's so horrible.
Sorry for the post I just didn't know where to go, I don't know many people who understand that these birds aren't just "pets". It's like losing your family, I thought Toki would be around forever and it just hurts.
I love you Toki, and I'll miss you forever.
Toki passed three months ago, and I am not coping very well. Just a warning that what happened is terrible so please dont read on if you think it might make you uncomfortable. Please forgive how messy this post is I'm just very upset.
Toki was my baby, I have never ever felt so heartbroken in my life. I spent nearly every minute of every day with him, I brought him across the country with me, and I know how much he loved me by how all he ever wanted was to snuggle up on my shoulder, and how he always wanted to sleep cuddled up to my face at night, and would make it so difficult to get his fat little legs to step up because he was so stubborn when he wanted to stay with me. I never knew you could love something with all your heart until I got Toki!
The night after I moved into my new house, I put him in his big cage outside to get some fresh air while I unpacked my room to bring him in. I realised his cage was way too big to bring upstairs every night so I decided to go out and buy him a special cage to sleep in at night.
He was so happy that day, I kept checking on him, or just watching him singing and chatting so happily (he was just starting to talk, and very impressed with himself), and I thought I'd quickly run out, grab the cage and bring him inside in no time.
But I'd completely forgotten in all the chaos of moving that he'd learnt how to unlock his balcony door two days before, and when i came home witht he cage not 15 minutes later he was gone, I looked everywhere and eventually found him on the road, he'd managed to clear the high concrete fence, walked right onto the road and he'd been hit by a car and i just cant sleep at night for thinking about it. I'm so so so angry at myself and I'm so so SO sad for him. I've never felt so bad in my life and three months later I still feel absolutely devastated. I miss him so much and I feel like I let him down in the worst way.
Now that he's gone i feel so alone, he took up all of my time, if I was at home, Toki was on my shoulder, if I fell asleep i would wake up with Toki tangled up asleep in my hair. He was like a baby, and he's just suddenly gone and it's so horrible.
Sorry for the post I just didn't know where to go, I don't know many people who understand that these birds aren't just "pets". It's like losing your family, I thought Toki would be around forever and it just hurts.
I love you Toki, and I'll miss you forever.