To be honest with you, I dont know why I bought Baby. I didnt know I needed a friend. I certainly didnt know I was lonely... got four boys a husband and a kitty that is having babies. How could one be lonely? Or need a friend? Too consumed with everyone else to be bothered I suppose but then looked around one day and all of my boys, except for one, was taller than me.
The boys have their lives, my husband has his and Im Mom. So, my life belongs to them for awhile longer. But for other Moms out there you know the time you have with them is not enough. From cradle to 'see you at Christmas Ma' seems to come in only a season... not the 18 yrs you are promised.
My oldest graduates this yr and it is killing me. Out of our four, only he is actually mine by birth. The others are simply mine because God wanted it that way and misplaced them for a short-time haha.
So, I don't know why I bought Baby that day when I walked by her other than she looked so precious. Then the breeder started telling me how much work it would be to take care of her now... leave her longer and the work will be alot less. The harder the job sounded, the more willing I was to sign up for the 30 yr committment.
I was So happy! I was feeding a baby! It was so much fun to take care of her. Then one day recently I was sitting here, probably doing this, and I looked over at Baby and said "So, girl, I reckon you're gonna hang out 18 yrs and then fly the coop too, huh" BAM like a ton of bricks I realized I was subconsciously replacing my son with something else I could take care of once he is away.
I have always heard of that 'empty nest syndrome' but always thought I couldnt wait for them to grow up and pack it up. It isnt like that WARNING!
So, the moral of the story is: Kids are born and they grow a little and walk on your feet alot. Then they grow up and simply through that they stomp on your heart. Enjoy them under foot as long as you can and if they are small enough to pick up... DO IT! Because a day will come, only after it is too late and you dont realize it, when you cant pick them up anymore. THAT is the beginning of the end. So get prepared hopefully better than I.
Watch this...
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Mikaela
- Posts: 3752
- Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:12 am
- Location: Islamorada Key, Florida U.S.A.
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Watch this...
~ Mikaela Sky
I don't have kids, but I live at home and I've noticed my mother cuddles with her spoiled dog because we (my sis and I) don't cuddle with her. She loves to cuddle, I've always hated cuddling, lol.
When my brother moved out seven years ago, she was in complete denial until he had the moving van packed to go. She knew he was moving, he was getting married the next week, but wouldn't accept it. Then she kinda broke down and didn't want him to go. Of course, he ended up buying the house next door. Go figure.
Now whenever I talk about moving she freaks- especially since I want to move across the country and not just next door. She was talking the other day and asked me if I could just move away in incriments, lol.
I know she'll be pouring her heart into her dog when I'm gone and my sister gets married (I'm pretty sure she'll sign up for the ball and chain before I do). But she'll have my brother next door still, and with that his two girls- her grandchildren. And of course my Dad. I think he'll really miss having something to distract Mom and someone logical around to talk with. But he'll have my brother too, sometimes.
I kinda feel bad for them, especially Mom. But it comes with the territory and I'd rather her see me do something with myself than to stay at home for my life. And I think she'd rather see that too, she says it often enough. Until she thinks about me moving. It'll happen and she'll call every day I'm sure, but that's what answering machines are for (just joking, lol
).
When my brother moved out seven years ago, she was in complete denial until he had the moving van packed to go. She knew he was moving, he was getting married the next week, but wouldn't accept it. Then she kinda broke down and didn't want him to go. Of course, he ended up buying the house next door. Go figure.
Now whenever I talk about moving she freaks- especially since I want to move across the country and not just next door. She was talking the other day and asked me if I could just move away in incriments, lol.
I know she'll be pouring her heart into her dog when I'm gone and my sister gets married (I'm pretty sure she'll sign up for the ball and chain before I do). But she'll have my brother next door still, and with that his two girls- her grandchildren. And of course my Dad. I think he'll really miss having something to distract Mom and someone logical around to talk with. But he'll have my brother too, sometimes.
I kinda feel bad for them, especially Mom. But it comes with the territory and I'd rather her see me do something with myself than to stay at home for my life. And I think she'd rather see that too, she says it often enough. Until she thinks about me moving. It'll happen and she'll call every day I'm sure, but that's what answering machines are for (just joking, lol
).
I've been called 'birdbrained' before, but somehow I don't think this is what they meant. say:hah-nay
I don't have any children of my own, however I do have a beautiful 9 year old step-daughter. And I cherish our relationship. I just wanted to pipe in for the mothers out there. I recently lost my mother to the horrible disease that plagued her my entire life. And I can not even begin to explain the hole this lost has left in my heart. So please, if you are lucky enough to still have your mother in your life, take advantage of this and hug her, call her, tell her you love her while you still have the opportunity. Cuz sitting in a cemetary saying it to a stone JUST ISN'T THE SAME!!!!!!!!!! 
I LOVE AND MISS YOU MOM!!!!!!
Didn't mean to be so down, but Mom's are one of our Gifts from above and I sure miss mine!
Jen & Byndi
I LOVE AND MISS YOU MOM!!!!!!
Didn't mean to be so down, but Mom's are one of our Gifts from above and I sure miss mine!
Jen & Byndi
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Mikaela
- Posts: 3752
- Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:12 am
- Location: Islamorada Key, Florida U.S.A.
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Jen, relax hun... try the edit button... amazing things will happen
If I have time I try to hit preview first but if someone thinks another is stupid for misspelling a word here and there we are ALL a bunch of idiots... HA!
As far as what you said about your Mom, it is what my boy tells his friends when they disrepect their moms. My boy's best friend lost her mother to cancer in less than 2 MONTHS, no warning. They believe now she knew but decided not to tell anyone. Anyway, through this my son learned Moms dont live forever. For a few weeks he was latched onto me like a two year old and once said 'If you ever die Momma I am going to die to so I can be with you'. He said it with such conviction it scared me. I reminded him, as christians should he do anything to cause his death he will not be in heaven with me anyway so dont try it!
My mother, though she chose not to accept the responsibility is still alive and I made it my mission to get to know her and be her friend. I never hang up without saying... I love you Momma. I never see her so I am certain those will be the last words I ever say to her.
Granny was my Momma and I am thankful to have had her the 14 yrs I did but it sure wasnt long enough. I look at our 15 yr old sometimes and think to myself "How in Gods name did I make it on my own at that age"? I always fail to come up with a good reason other than I had no choice. It made me a better person though and not much out there I cant handle so true is the saying... what dont kill you does make you stronger.
Ew, arent we some sentimental mushes
If I have time I try to hit preview first but if someone thinks another is stupid for misspelling a word here and there we are ALL a bunch of idiots... HA!
As far as what you said about your Mom, it is what my boy tells his friends when they disrepect their moms. My boy's best friend lost her mother to cancer in less than 2 MONTHS, no warning. They believe now she knew but decided not to tell anyone. Anyway, through this my son learned Moms dont live forever. For a few weeks he was latched onto me like a two year old and once said 'If you ever die Momma I am going to die to so I can be with you'. He said it with such conviction it scared me. I reminded him, as christians should he do anything to cause his death he will not be in heaven with me anyway so dont try it!
My mother, though she chose not to accept the responsibility is still alive and I made it my mission to get to know her and be her friend. I never hang up without saying... I love you Momma. I never see her so I am certain those will be the last words I ever say to her.
Granny was my Momma and I am thankful to have had her the 14 yrs I did but it sure wasnt long enough. I look at our 15 yr old sometimes and think to myself "How in Gods name did I make it on my own at that age"? I always fail to come up with a good reason other than I had no choice. It made me a better person though and not much out there I cant handle so true is the saying... what dont kill you does make you stronger.
Ew, arent we some sentimental mushes
~ Mikaela Sky
Mikaela,
Whatever you've been through in your life--and I can not even begin to imagine-has made you such an awesome person! I know we don't "know" each other, but from reading your posts I JUST know! You make me laugh and I sooooooooo need that. Cuz not only am I dealing with trying to make my Byndi mine, but I'm working a job I HATE, and was offered another job, but now the job I hate is trying desperately to talk me in to staying and I'm sooooooooooo confused as to what to do. Guess I gotta make up my own mind as I'm to start my new job this Friday. Sometimes it's just no fun to be an adult! And thanks for the word on the "edit" button. Tee hee! You crack me up girl! Your family is lucky to have you and so is this board!
Whatever you've been through in your life--and I can not even begin to imagine-has made you such an awesome person! I know we don't "know" each other, but from reading your posts I JUST know! You make me laugh and I sooooooooo need that. Cuz not only am I dealing with trying to make my Byndi mine, but I'm working a job I HATE, and was offered another job, but now the job I hate is trying desperately to talk me in to staying and I'm sooooooooooo confused as to what to do. Guess I gotta make up my own mind as I'm to start my new job this Friday. Sometimes it's just no fun to be an adult! And thanks for the word on the "edit" button. Tee hee! You crack me up girl! Your family is lucky to have you and so is this board!
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Mikaela
- Posts: 3752
- Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 5:12 am
- Location: Islamorada Key, Florida U.S.A.
- Contact:
I have a very odd sense of humor, either people get it or get HIGHLY offended. There really is no in between. I am glad ya'll get it haha.
You have my email. Use it when you're down, up, just need a friend or a laugh. I think I decided to see the world sunny-side up rather than giving into drugs, although I do likey me a pain killer every now and then HA! If not, it would have been so easy to pity myself and end up a piece of crap. Or worse, have no education and have to depend on a man. I had noone to be proud of me so I had to be proud of myself. Had noone to take care of me so I took care of myself. Had noone to make me happy so I made me happy myself. I'll tell you though, all of that sure makes it hard to be less independent when you marry. That was a huge issue with my husband and I. But, he knows not to mess with me because I didnt need anyone then and I certainly dont need anyone now. But having someones sure is alot better.
You have my email. Use it when you're down, up, just need a friend or a laugh. I think I decided to see the world sunny-side up rather than giving into drugs, although I do likey me a pain killer every now and then HA! If not, it would have been so easy to pity myself and end up a piece of crap. Or worse, have no education and have to depend on a man. I had noone to be proud of me so I had to be proud of myself. Had noone to take care of me so I took care of myself. Had noone to make me happy so I made me happy myself. I'll tell you though, all of that sure makes it hard to be less independent when you marry. That was a huge issue with my husband and I. But, he knows not to mess with me because I didnt need anyone then and I certainly dont need anyone now. But having someones sure is alot better.
~ Mikaela Sky
I got kicked out of home at 17 because I wouldn't break up with my 'wrong side of the tracks' boyfriend. Had to leave in the clothes I was wearing. I married my boyfriend when I was 19 and had my son when I was 20. I have tried to patch things up with the family but unfortunately, my mother is not a 'cuddly' or forgiving mum. It makes you or breaks you. Made me a hell of a lot stronger and makes me feel good that everything I have done, I have done it without help. Still married 10 years on by the way!! I have a great life. Even though my husband is not from a wealthy (read: snobby) family, we are happy and thats what counts. Wish I had a good mum, its the only thing I deeply miss in my life. Sometimes I crave a maternal bond and I think that's why I like being a mum to my son and my various menagerie.
Talk about depressing!!! Definitely last time I do the whole psych thing!!
Talk about depressing!!! Definitely last time I do the whole psych thing!!
jen5239 wrote:I don't have any children of my own, however I do have a beautiful 9 year old step-daughter. And I cherish our relationship. I just wanted to pipe in for the mothers out there. I recently lost my mother to the horrible disease that plagued her my entire life. And I can not even begin to explain the hole this lost has left in my heart. So please, if you are lucky enough to still have your mother in your life, take advantage of this and hug her, call her, tell her you love her while you still have the opportunity. Cuz sitting in a cemetary saying it to a stone JUST ISN'T THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!
Didn't mean to be so down, but Mom's are one of our Gifts from above and I sure miss mine!
Jen & Byndi
When I'm away from home, I tend to notice it more. But when I'm home I don't miss it so much, lol. Pretty much true for most people.
When I go away on a trip I always hug Mom and say goodbye, though for the opposite reason than losing her-I do it just in case I don't come back. I want the last thing I say to her to be good.
Maybe it's because I'm the middle child...
I've been called 'birdbrained' before, but somehow I don't think this is what they meant. say:hah-nay