I lost the baby..
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I lost the baby..
I just had a miscarriage yesterday. I didn't want to say anything on here until it was confirmed. My doctor confirmed it today. The level of hcg (the pregnancy hormone) in my body is extremely low and apparently falling, due to my complete loss of symptoms in the last 48 hours. Anthony and I were crying so hard yesterday. We're ok now, still finding ourselves choked up randomly, but still ok. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's so hard. We'll try again.
Grief really is a complex emotion. It's been 6 years since I experienced loss like this, with the last time being my Grandfather's death when I was almost 17. I'm extremely sad, more so than anything, but still bitter and angry. I know it's not my fault, and I know there's nothing I could have done differently to make this baby live. It's still hard thinking that way though. I even find myself feeling jealous of all the mothers out there that had normal, healthy first pregnancies. I'm happy for them, but jealous all the same. I know that's bad..
All these what ifs..
My biggest question is Why?
Grief really is a complex emotion. It's been 6 years since I experienced loss like this, with the last time being my Grandfather's death when I was almost 17. I'm extremely sad, more so than anything, but still bitter and angry. I know it's not my fault, and I know there's nothing I could have done differently to make this baby live. It's still hard thinking that way though. I even find myself feeling jealous of all the mothers out there that had normal, healthy first pregnancies. I'm happy for them, but jealous all the same. I know that's bad..
All these what ifs..
My biggest question is Why?
Oh my, I am so sorry I really am, its something I am sure I dont even know quite how to feel like you two, but hope you find some peace of mind through the pain.
Its a terrible ordeal to go through, but your a tough cookie! And it doesnt mark the end for anything, just a very rough patch on your way to getting it.
Its a terrible ordeal to go through, but your a tough cookie! And it doesnt mark the end for anything, just a very rough patch on your way to getting it.
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I really feel for you darlin. Never anything that can be said to help, other than we are thinking of you. Just remember all the emotions you go through are normal and needed, not nice, but just let them flow freely. And lean on each other.
*Hugs*
*Hugs*
Angie
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Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins. {Pro 10:12}
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God Bless
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Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins. {Pro 10:12}
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God Bless
Thanks. I will be ok, in time, but right now, my emotions aren't as raw as they were before. Right now I just have a dull ache.Fah wrote:Oh my, I am so sorry I really am, its something I am sure I dont even know quite how to feel like you two, but hope you find some peace of mind through the pain.
Its a terrible ordeal to go through, but your a tough cookie! And it doesnt mark the end for anything, just a very rough patch on your way to getting it.
Thanks.. My emotions aren't real raw anymore. I've just got this raw ache now..lewi111 wrote:Hi Skybaby-----really sorry to hear of your loss.Keep your chin up.As Fah said--I really dont know how you feel,but am thinking of you as Im sure most people on this site are.
Best wishes an lets hope next time has a positive outcome.
Lewi
I don't think I'll ever be done mourning either. I don't want to be done mourning. I don't want to forget. I want to remember the excitement and happiness, as well as the sadness.xx_sheena_xx wrote:Miscarages are a horrible thing to go through.
Iv been through one aswell, its a very hard
thing to go through but you will be ok. As
time goes on it gets easier but i think i will
always mourn for my baby.
Thank you so much. I'm not trying to hold back. When I need to cry, I cry. I haven't gone out much the past couple of days due to my random fits of crying. I would rather stay home with my husband anyways. We're supporting each other through our tears. *hugs* Thanks again.kyria wrote:I really feel for you darlin. Never anything that can be said to help, other than we are thinking of you. Just remember all the emotions you go through are normal and needed, not nice, but just let them flow freely. And lean on each other.
*Hugs*
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Oh I am so sorry hun, I too have been there and it's still hard sometimes. You sound like you are doing quite well mentally and that is really important, let yourself mourn and know there are lots of people around you who care.
Make sure that man of yours gets you a hot water bottle and a blankie and have some good snuggle time together. Thinking of you xx
Make sure that man of yours gets you a hot water bottle and a blankie and have some good snuggle time together. Thinking of you xx
-Chamon-
my prayers are with you
Skybaby,
several years ago, I experienced 2 miscarriages back to back. It was the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will be remembering you in prayer. Please remember, that NOTHING you did caused this. The only thing that gets me through some days is knowing that my Kimberly Marie is waiting for me in Jesus' arms, and someday, I will get to see her again.
I know it must be hard to understand, and I still ask myself why all the time. I do not have that answer for you, but I am here if you need someone to talk to.
several years ago, I experienced 2 miscarriages back to back. It was the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will be remembering you in prayer. Please remember, that NOTHING you did caused this. The only thing that gets me through some days is knowing that my Kimberly Marie is waiting for me in Jesus' arms, and someday, I will get to see her again.
I know it must be hard to understand, and I still ask myself why all the time. I do not have that answer for you, but I am here if you need someone to talk to.
Skittles and her mommy
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oh skybaby!!!
im so sorry i know the pain your going through i have lost 8 precious little onesa wonderful nun helped me thruogh she told me
in heaven there is a very special lady who god chose to be the mother of his son im sure she will be a good babysitter for your little ones
& as skittles said if you need an understanding ear (so to speak )
pm me my door is always open
im so sorry i know the pain your going through i have lost 8 precious little onesa wonderful nun helped me thruogh she told me
in heaven there is a very special lady who god chose to be the mother of his son im sure she will be a good babysitter for your little ones
& as skittles said if you need an understanding ear (so to speak )
pm me my door is always open
Im so sorry. I have lost a bub before and last week I thought I almost lost again, I felt the rush of grief again and Im still scared of the next few weeks. This brought me to tears as any expecting mother who has had to say goodbye too soon feels your pain. *HUGS*
Quote: "An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book " too beautiful for earth."
I know that its a terrible thing to go through and I want to give you my deepest sympathy. Remember.. give yourself the time to mourn, let those emotions flow, don't hold back and know that this is not your fault.
It is normal to feel jealous of other mothers. Im sure none of us hold that against you.
My thoughts are with you, your family and your lil angel.
(I wish I had of seen this earlier - so sorry)
Quote: "An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book " too beautiful for earth."
I know that its a terrible thing to go through and I want to give you my deepest sympathy. Remember.. give yourself the time to mourn, let those emotions flow, don't hold back and know that this is not your fault.
It is normal to feel jealous of other mothers. Im sure none of us hold that against you.
My thoughts are with you, your family and your lil angel.
(I wish I had of seen this earlier - so sorry)
"Jibby aka Gilbert" Indian Ringneck 13 years "Charlie" Rex Rabbit 1 year