I have an IRN in love with me, but shes not my bird!

[meganheather]

Hi,

I have looked through the forums as much as i can but i havent been able to find any sound advice relating to my problem:

I brought an Indian Ringneck for my mother in december in 2009, she is a beautiful bright yellow with red eyes that look scary as hell when she pins them lol

My mother named the bird Cosmo, Cosmo lives inside, gets adequate flight time, treats etc. To start with Cosmo was a bit stand offish with everyone, and as she got older she got worse, until it got to the point where no one could touch her or she would bite and draw blood.

I was living with my Mum at this time, and got sick of this agro little bird ruling the house, so i got myself some thick gloves and forced myself on her. She didnt run from the gloves (although she did bite them!) and i was able to pat her, from that day forward i have been able to give her all the love and pats she wants. She actually almost flattens out her body and raises her head waiting for me to pat her, and when i do pat her she makes kissing sounds, clucking sounds and is oh so cute! I am the only one that is able to do this though, she will still not let my mum touch her. And now she is terrified of the gloves, if my mum tries to put on the gloves and pat her like i originally did, Cosmo will screech and run, and even in her cage she will flap around so much to get away from the gloves that she may hurt herself.

I moved out of home recently, and we hoped that this would allow comso to bond to mum, this hasnt happened. Cosmo knows the sound of my car, my voice etc, so the second im at the house she gets her body ready for pats, she really does adore me and i will admit i adore her too!! the problem is though she is my Mums bird and my mum cant do anything with her without getting bitten. Cosmo will fly onto my mum if it suits cosmo, but god forbid mum try to touch her!! Cosmo easily draws blood, she bites that hard, however if she ever gets shitty with me and bites me, its never that hard!!

I could go on for hours about my bond with Cosmo and the lack of love Cosmo has for my mum, but i just really want to know if there is anything that can be done about it? I know if i could get Cosmo to accept Mum like she has me, then they would be very happy together. I can't really take the bird, so we are all at our wits end.

Any advice would be so appreciated, i have done as much research as possible and havent been able to find any advice on this kind of problem. Bottom line is, Cosmo LOVES me but hates everyone else (particularly my mum) How do i get her to love my mum, when she wont come to my mum when she wears gloves to protect her hands?

Thanks in advance!!

[jimmyjack]

i see only two solutions:

- get your mum to give the same treatment that worked for you initially, whilst you stay out of the picture a few weeks, include ample treats, training/bonding sessions and all the works

OR

- buy your mum another bird whilst you, the "other woman" end up with your lover...


whoever puts in the hard yards reaps the rewards - an unfortunate case in this circumstance. your mother could try getting everyone who comes over to deal out some attention to get her adjusted to multiple handlers. i think the term is generally called 'bonding' and 'bonded birds' might find you some better search results to answer your quesitons...

[Melika]

She believes you are her mate. This isn't an easy thing to fix and will take some time. Please read this: http://www.rationalparrot.com/tease.html

You will have to cease petting her as if you are her mate. When you mom tries to stroke her the same, she freaks out because your mom isn't her mate! When the female parrot puts her head down and you stroke down her back, she's offering herself to you. You and she are participating in mating behaviours.

The link I gave has good advice on what to do and not do. I think that Cosmo will throw a fuss at first when she realizes you don't 'love' her like that anymore, so be prepared for anger. Scorned woman and all that.